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Family Plans
Episode VI: Return of the Resident
Detour ahead
In the Spring of 2000, Maureen got accepted to various graduate schools for public health, one of them being Yale University. It had a Ph.D program that didn't require a previous Master's degree (you get the equivalent along the way), and they offered money: a stipend for living expenses and full waiving of tuition for her to be a teaching assistant one year and a research assistant one year. Ian also got accepted to 3 of the UC schools he applied to, one of them being UC Davis. Davis also offered money, a teaching assistantship with a similar stipend. They both accepted and went on with their lives knowing they would have to be apart for a year or two.
The quote is from John Lennon, and it's very true. Life happened to Maureen and Ian when they least expected it. At first it started out as a thought, then a worry, then knowing things would be alright.
Pitter patter, pitter patter
They wanted to be sure, but they wanted to find out together. When Ian went to Claremont for Wendy and Andy's wedding, they decided to take the test. After the wedding, they went looking for an open drug store, and it turned out there was a Rite Aid open till midnight. They bought the test in a 2-pack and tried one of them. Positive. They embraced, knowing their lives would never be the same again. Just to be sure, they tried it again in the morning. Positive. Ian canceled his flight back to the Bay Area, and the two of them went down to San Diego to figure things out. Maureen had a doctor's appointment recently too, at which she asked whether they could do a test as well, not knowing the results until about a week later. They called back and confirmed the home test results.
Their friends knew what was coming and gave all their support immediately. Parents took a little longer, but their support was also strong. They knew we could do it.
Ian declined UC Davis after all and accepted the offer from UC San Diego. Maureen deferred Yale for a year to take care of more important matters. Ian's first year back in school was just like he never left, but life was still a little hard. There were preparations to be made and some hearts still to conquer.
The two went through all the motions, the classes, the appointments. For Maureen it was surprisingly easy at first. The hormones were stable, no weird feelings or cravings. The ultrasound sonograms looked normal. In the end it was just a little bit harder. With childbirth education classes, months of preparing, a support team made of Ian, Natascha, Natascha's labor-and-delivery nurse mom Karin, and Maureen's mom Lyn, and a strong determination, Maureen gave birth to a 9-pound, 2-ounce baby boy Timothy Joseph*. From then on Ian could only bow to her. "I am a birthing goddess."
*A slight anecdotal detour: actually Maureen and Ian had been throwing around the idea of having a baby a long time ago when they already knew they were getting married but wanted to wait till they were done with school. We now know fate had decided otherwise. While they were walking together, Maureen would see a baby and say, "you want one of those?" Ian would always go "yeah...." They knew they would be happy having children, and so they were talking about names already. They were both thinking about themes. Some families have names all starting with the same letter. Maureen and Ian both have Irish names. For that matter, a few times Ian got mail from Father Flanagan addressed to Ian O'Camaclang. Timothy was a name Ian threw out that they both agreed on. Of course at first they thought they would have a girl, but sonogram appointment number two proved them wrong.
Moving right along
As you can see, Timmy became almost the center of their lives. They always had the help of their family and friends. Timmy is truly a blessing, which Maureen and Ian knew when they first knew he was coming.
They waited for Timmy to be born before they continued with their wedding plans. To make it official, the previous Christmas, Ian had bought Maureen her ring which was to be her engagement and wedding ring, since she didn't want two. They went to the "initiation", the Pre-Cana conference in San Diego which introduced Catholics to the different aspects of a Catholic marriage and marriage in general. Then they planned for the Evenings for the Engaged, which they actually didn't finish until Maureen and Timmy had gone to Yale and come back to visit. With all the pieces in place, they just needed to plan the wedding....
The family at dim sum in New Jersey.
14 Jul 2002
